Yo, what's up? I'm Fung, the guy who's just tired of all the surreal BS happening around me.
I live in this rusty teardrop trailer, and let me tell you, it ain't exactly the lap of luxury. But hey, it's my little slice of "home." You know what really grinds my gears? Stephan Seagull. That HollyBoard actor thinks he's all that, but in my book, he's just a colossal disappointment. The guy couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. Every time I see him on screen, I can't help but go on a verbal rage-induced tangent. It's like he embodies everything that's wrong with the entertainment industry.
Anyway, enough about that hack. Let's talk about my favorite food joint, Burgkratus. Now, their HRAK-Burgers and Almost-Fries may not be the healthiest options out there, but damn if they don't hit the spot. And let's not forget their indescribable soups, like the Mackin' Smacks, Scug Nugs, August Stew, and Vampire Surprise. It's a total culinary adventure, even if it occasionally resembles a horror show. Oh, and don't get me started on the Little Shitsmeals for the kids. Classic.
Now, there's this convenience store called Buy our Shit, where Mitts works. And let me tell you, they never have the supplies I need. It's a constant source of frustration for me, but what can you do? I swear, Mitts is probably optimizing his life to an absurd degree, just like some silver-haired katana-wielding antagonist from a video game. Dude needs to take it down a notch and realize that life isn't always about being optimal. Unlucky for him, I guess.
Speaking of video games, Mitts would rather be at home, gaming on his precious PC, playing "First Phantasy Sun 28." He used to be a streamer, so he's got this knack for saying both cringe and funny things without even realizing it. It's a mixed bag, but it keeps things interesting around here.
And then we have the News Reporter. That guy is excessively pedantic, always trying to sound like some highfalutin intellectual. But sometimes, he slips into this angry caveman mode, especially when he's frustrated, just like waiting at the DMV. It's pretty hilarious when he lets his guard down and talks like a regular person. Last but not least, we got Stephan Seagull, the washed-up actor with a massive superiority complex. He claims to be the master of this hidden art called "Bullshido." Yeah, right. More like a master of eating more than his weight in food. Dude's got a serious ego problem.
So, there you have it. I'm Fung, the guy with the colossal afro, the blue shirt, and a truckload of sarcasm. I'm here to navigate this surreal world, go on rant-filled tangents, and make the best of the absurdities around me.