I can't believe what just happened today.

I tried to go to the bathroom like a normal person, but apparently, even that simple task is too much for the universe to handle. As I reached for the toilet paper roll, it suddenly came to life and started attacking me, trying to hit me in the eyes!

I mean, what the hell? Is this some kind of sick joke? I know I live in a rusty teardrop trailer, but that doesn't mean I deserve to be attacked by inanimate objects. It's like the world is out to get me.

I tried to fight back, but the damn toilet paper roll was too quick for me. It was like it had a mind of its own, and it was determined to take me down. I finally managed to grab hold of it and throw it across the bathroom, but it was too late. I had already suffered a direct hit to the face.

And to top it off, I was out of Almost-Fries from Burkratus, my favorite fast-food joint. It's the only thing that can cheer me up when everything else is going to hell. I mean, what kind of messed-up world do we live in where you can't even go to the bathroom without getting attacked by toilet paper?

I swear, if one more thing goes wrong today, I might just lose it. Maybe I should just stay in my trailer and watch TV all day. At least I won't have to deal with any more toilet paper attacks.

But then again, I am starting to get hungry.

Maybe I'll brave the outside world and head over to Burkratus for a HRAK-Burger and some Potato Skids. Who knows, maybe the universe will be kind to me and let me have a decent meal without any surreal BS happening.

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? It's gonna be another day of indescribable horrors and weirdness. But hey, at least I'll have some Almost-Fries to comfort me in my misery.