Ah, my dear comrades of absurdity, indulge me for a moment as I regale you with a tale of unyielding frustration.

Picture this: a disheveled trailer, a weary soul, and a tantalizing meal from the sacred realm of Burkratus—yes, I speak of the fabled Almost-fries.

Now, let me set the stage for you. There I was, craving the crispy delight that only Burkratus could provide. I ventured forth to partake in their offerings, only to have my hopes dashed upon the rocks of despair. Why, you ask? Well, gather 'round, my fellow seekers of culinary satisfaction, and listen well.

In my humble abode, I gazed upon the golden package that contained the promised joy of Almost-fries. With great anticipation, I ripped it open, savoring the aromatic burst that wafted forth. But alas, what did I find? The treacherous Mitts, my acquaintance from the convenience store, had dared to pilfer my Almost-fries!

Oh, the audacity! The gall! The sheer nerve of that ne'er-do-well! How could he snatch away my crispy companions without so much as a hint of remorse? Did he not comprehend the sanctity of the Burkratus feast? Did he not understand the significance of the Almost-fries in my culinary journey?

And so, dear friends, I confronted him. I unleashed upon him a torrent of verbal retribution that would make even the most fearsome warriors cower in fear. I railed against the injustice, the insufferable fckery, of his actions. I questioned his integrity, his loyalty to the sacred realm of Burkratus.

But do you know what that scoundrel had the audacity to do? He dared to munch upon those stolen Almost-fries with a smug grin upon his face. Oh, the nerve! The absolute gall! How dare he savor the taste of victory while I was left bereft, my heart filled with culinary sorrow.

So, my comrades, let this be a lesson to us all. Never underestimate the lengths to which the wretched and misguided will go to indulge in the pleasures of Almost-fries. Let it be known that the wrath of Fung, the lover of Burkratus, shall be swift and unforgiving to those who dare to trifle with his gastronomic desires.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must retreat to my humble trailer and concoct a plan to safeguard my beloved Almost-fries from the clutches of that miscreant Mitts. May the delectable delicacies of Burkratus forever grace my taste buds and protect me from the trials and tribulations of this surreal existence.