Get ready to witness the epitome of human idiocy, courtesy of our beloved Mitts and his infamous Larry-Pie disaster.

 

This twisted tale is bound to leave you questioning the sanity of our species. So put on your grumpy faces and grab a plate of those overpriced HRAK-Burgers and mediocre Mackin' Smacks from the illustrious Burkratus, because you'll need something to choke on while we navigate through Mitts' delusions.

 

Listen up, you poor souls forced to endure this narrative. Mitts, the self-proclaimed genius of poor decision-making, thought it was a stroke of brilliance to waste his hard-earned event rewards on those elusive Larry-Pies. His mind must have been drenched in expired Vampire Surprise soup to believe that these pastry abominations would grant him unimaginable powers. Little did he know, buried deep within the fine print, was the cruel truth that these pies would expire faster than his dwindling self-esteem.

 

And here comes the pièce de résistance! Picture this, the moment of truth when Mitts proudly bursts into his favorite lobby, D69, like a deranged peacock, eager to announce his ingenious move to the masses. "Don't forget to spend the rest of your badges, today is the last day. I spent all of mine on Larry-Pies!" he declares, his voice echoing with misplaced triumph. The lobby erupts into a symphony of facepalms and sarcastic remarks.

 

"Oh, Mitts, you never fail to disappoint us with your impeccable decision-making skills," one player scoffs, barely able to contain their sarcasm. "Larry-Pies? Really? Did you expect them to transform into golden nuggets of power and wisdom?" another chimes in, their voice dripping with enough sarcasm to rival the Burkratus August Stew.

 

But the real kicker comes when a brave soul finally breaks the bad news to our oblivious protagonist. "Hey, Mitts, hate to burst your bubble, but those Larry-Pies expired faster than your dignity. They're about as useful as a broken fork in a soup made of disappointment." Ouch.

 

Mitts, devastated and embarrassed, is left to wallow in the sea of sarcasm and his own profound lack of foresight. And as for the rest of us, well, we can only shake our heads in disbelief and find solace in the fact that at least we didn't waste our event rewards on a bunch of expired pastries. Cheers to that!